This inspiration to scribble out I got  was of course from an incident of one of my close friends. I know the depth of the incident because I was the spare shoulder on which my male friend cried for hours. These were some of the excerpts of the conversation, though I have modified for the convenience of you friends because the original words were not really audible.

“I loved her so much. There was not a minute when I didn’t think of her. I had even planned out our marriage, the name of our kids and our relation was one level above! God! I miss her so much. How can she live without me is what I cannot understand. Here I am not able to breathe even a minute without her – I don’t get it! How can she get over it? All the love that we shared; the care, the concern? Everything is finished? How? How? How?”

I knew the answer for his “how” but I didn’t dare to answer it then because I was not supposed to be acting like a nitwit in sunglasses for his pathetic situation. I wanted to tell him that but I was not sure whether the timing was right. So, I just soothed him, took him to a small dinner taking into consideration that he didn’t know well to work with his mouth because of weeping and talking and then fed him to lots of chocolate. It is said that chocolate repairs a lot of damages – though only repairable ones.

So the answer to how was this. Whoever was the flame, knew one thing for sure – You may call her heartless, insensitive and a free-loader, whatever – for her, she had her. She held the biggest regard for herself. Though she, no doubt, must have loved him once upon a time but when she saw that the ship was about to sink; she braced for the seas. When she knew that my friend is no longer holding her life and fascination, she sealed herself from within and decided – “so what! I have me!”

And that is what I strongly believe. Please do love someone in life. But not so much that you love them above your own self. I strictly believe on one fact that if you cannot love yourself, then you cannot share that with anyone in life. It is not being selfish, self-centered or being simply self-obsessed. It is about not heavily leaning upon someone for a support. Try not to be a climber that needs a host to stand straight but be a Gulmohar that stands straight on its own and spreads its glory to everyone around it.

Whenever life brings you to a situation wherein you feel weak and lost, always remember that you have your own self – the great divine you that created the aura, the world around you. The best part is that for being with you, you just need your will power, your strength and the highest frequency of your mind and the biggest person – You! When you discover yourself, you find that you not only love yourself, but stand a potential to share it with not only your beloved but everyone around you who are part of your personal universe.

So when next time you think that you are down within the mud and you have been trodden upon by many a feet, rise above the rest like a beautiful sapling and grow into a mighty tree that is soon going to blossom in the best of springs!